Meeting Sesan Akindayo was one of the most amazing things that happened to me. He was handsome, caring and best of all, he was head over heels in love with me. We got married in a lavish ceremony and could not wait to be parents, not too long after, I took in and we were overwhelmed with joy.
Our son Olu was born on a beautiful day in September and I was happy to be a mum, to be alive and to have given this beautiful gift to my husband but things would never be the same again. I started getting very moody and sad, crying all the time. We all thought it was the stress of child birth and care, and that with time I would adjust, but that never happened. I only got worse, after a while I couldn’t stand to be around the baby, I stopped eating and going out, I couldn’t sleep and worst of all I could see my marriage fall apart.
I wanted things to change but I couldn’t help it. I was hearing voices in my head telling me to kill Olu and to my shock the urge to do that kept growing stronger. My mother, feeling it was a spiritual problem took me to several spiritual houses in search of a solution but none worked. On a quiet Saturday morning, while Sesan was still asleep, the voices in my head grew stronger. I felt beside myself as I walked to Olu’s cradle, I picked him up and walked slowly into the bathroom, I turned on the tap making a pool in the tub. The urge was so uncontrollable; I plunged my little angel into the water and held him down until he was lifeless.
What have I done! I wept profusely….
My fairy tale life is over; I have lost everything but the stigma of killing my own son. With the benefit of hindsight, I would have opted for medical attention earlier.
Believe it or not, this is the experience of 2 out of every 1000 women after childbirth. It is a medical condition called Postpartum Psychosis which causes women to lose touch with reality after child birth.